Has chivalry evolved or is it merely put… dead?

I am a pretty modern individual, but I have a lot of old fashion ways core values in me (Yes! I grew up with my grandmother). While I appreciate every aspects of ‘girl power’ certain core roles are still important within a relationship, be it intimate or social.

Being independent is an awesome feeling and it is super attractive, however, is it an excuse that we kill the code of conduct within a relationship? Chivalry is an elegant and attractive character one could have. Does this mean that the relationship have to be intimate and serious before, you can hold the door? And when I say intimate, I don’t mean a ‘slam-bam, thank you madam’ kind of intimacy.

Most modern women are very independent in life and in love, but I would gather that they want someone who will still treat them like ladies, like a delicate flower; however, chivalry has become increasingly rare.

But who is to be blamed for this untimely passing? Is it dead or has it evolved? Is it in a coma somewhere, waiting to take its last breath, due to the rise of feminism? Even so, does being a feminist dictates that chivalry should take a back seat?



Relationships now-a-days are built solely on social stigma and every details of such relationship is plastered all over social media for all to see. No one courts anymore. The idea is that, if money is spending, then the ‘goods’ should be running, otherwise it’s a waste of time and of course money. Spending money on a nice dinner does not automatically means you will be getting anything in return. It may guarantee you a second date, at least. ‘Oh, you bought a $24 meal at Olive Garden, well there goes the under garments.’ Gone are the days, when a guy would have to court a girl a few months before getting a ‘chups’ on the lips. Now as soon as the date has started, the expectation of intimacy is significantly high.

Chivalry in my opinion is very important in relationships (and I am strong feminist). It shows character and it shows that the person is not just solely into you for a ‘quick meal’.



A few pointers to consider:

  1. Simply holding the door – You step out or into a building and someone is behind you, do you let the door go and perhaps let it hit them or do you hold it to let whomever through? Do you expect something in return for such a kind gesture? Is it going to be the death of you if you do?
  2. Getting the car when it’s raining – my spouse and I went out and it was raining real hard. I was in heels and obviously it would have taken me a longer time to get to the car. She walked in the rain, got the car and parked as close as possible to the side walk, just so I could get as little wet as possible. Enough said.
  3. Avoiding games – A relationship isn’t a game! Say what you want and mean it. Don’t beat around the bush, climb the mountain, cross the river and the valley before saying clearly what is it that you want. This doesn’t mean you are going to force what you want down someone’s throat. Show your interest with small gestures, even large ones and mean it. Playing around is very old and tired.
  4. Little here and there public gestures – holding hands are a big deal for a lot of individuals, especially women. It shows that you are not afraid to show the world that he/she is yours and you are proud. A little peck is a big plus too, but don’t go over board to the point where a room is required.
  5. Being respectful – Now this is a major deal, better yet it is the most important thing there is. Respect goes a long way and if your significant other does not respect you, then honey, hit the road. Not having respect in any form of relationship is a recipe for disaster.
  6. Stepping up/in during awkward situations – Offer your seat to the elderly lady who just got on the bus and has to stand or to the pregnant lady who is holding on for dear life as the bus turns and bounced about around the corner. Even though you are freezing, offer up your jacket.

We have become so self-satisfied that we have forgotten the little gestures that help our relationships grow into better ones.

We have fallen prey to the independent anthem of ‘not needing anyone’s help’ but then when ‘a come bang’ text is sent the feeling of being used for only sex arises. what gives?

Some individual like the ‘no strings attached mentality ‘where a ride home in the morning and a crois-sandwich is needed and we will just carry on on our merry way as if nothing happened last night.

There is no ‘right’ way to court someone these days, because it has now become abnormal to do so. It’s not a one-size fits all approach. Most women like to be wined, dined and romanced, be a knight is shining armor, just the like the good ole fashion days. The rest… well…may think that the other person is trying too hard or he hasn’t ask for sex, so he is not into me. In other words, what one woman may see as courtly, the other may see it as offensive or pitiful (I wonder what is that they seek out of a relationship?).

We live in a society where the hookup culture is now customary , where some women are willing participants. We blame feminism for our lack of understanding the simple code of conduct in how to act. Being a feminist should not hinder chivalry. Embrace a woman’s independence and at the same time show her that you can take care of her, if needs be. For the most part, the majority of women does enjoy a chivalrous relationship where they are the ones that hold the cards, however, it is up to them to act accordingly (act lady-like), and when they do, the first dinner will not be from a takeout menu.






How EDIBLE are your “Cookies”?

Have you ever been out walking or going about your business and come across someone and you wonder to yourself, would you randomly kiss that person or the real deal, go to ‘dinner’ with whats under their skirt or pants? Weird? Maybe, but lets talk!

People always say that looks aren’t everything, which is in fact true-to an extent. (seems to be my favorite phrase to say these days 🙂 ) Looks definitely aren’t everything, however, its the first thing that you see and its the first thing that attracts you to that person. It has to count for something.

If you see someone and that individual’s physical features are below average, then you are not going to give that person the time of day. (Even though my granny always seh, “Every hoe have dem tick a bush”)

You meet this individual and you like what you see so you decide to take it a step or two further in getting to know more about this individual. The butterflies are fluttering around in your tummy and you cant wait to go out with this person. This goes on for awhile, well, if you are not the sleep with after the first date type kind of a person.

Before you go on your date, obviously you are going to spend time getting ready for the date. For the ladies, it may take a year and a day to get ready, from picking out the right outfit, getting the makeup on “fleek” and getting the hair done. I will be targeting the ladies specifically. Hence, the question is raised; How edible are your “cookies”? Lets not kid ourselves here as we are all mature grown folks (assuming) and be honest. In this day and age having a “a cookie/cookies” is the norm and its what we ladies love the most. If you are not eating, you sure as hell is not “whining.”

Having a clean, healthy and fresh smelling “kitty kat” takes spending quality time with our lady bits. It also stems from what we put in our daily diets. Pineapples rings a bell? Lets break it down.

  1. Whatever we eat comes out on the outside. So those of us who loves to drink sodas, eat a lot of sugary food and a whole lot of fried food, will be likely to have a little trouble with our little lady. Lots of water, fresh fruits and vegetables are more ideal for daily consumption.
  2. Wash your “kitty kat” daily! Its not that hard! Some of us may be allergic to soap or scented soaps, however, there are specific products made for that. I personally hate having my period, however, since its part of being a woman, when she makes her monthly visits, showering for me doubles up and changing my soiled sanitary napkin very regularly throughout the day. My partner always say to me, “How yuh can bathe suh?” I love feeling clean at all times. I cant not have my feminine wash. It keeps me fresh all day. Also, its not just simple washing, you gotta separate the labia and gently wash between the folds. That area between your vagina and your anus, it too deserves a good wash. Bottom line, spend time washing your “kitty kat.”
  3. Some females think that spraying scented perfumes on your lady parts will get rid of odors or cover up the smell. Truth is, your vagina is suppose to smell-all vaginas smell; but when it smells like a fish that has been rotting for a few days, then darling, head to the gyno! Do not spray any scents down there and if you do, do not spray it directly on your lady parts, because you are just breeding more bacteria and creating a future disaster for your vagina.
  4. Regular check ups at your gyno is super important!
  5. Shave! Wax! Something… Excessive hair breeds bacteria and traps odor. Plus no one wants to be parting “the cane field” to get to the goods. Huge turn off!
  6. We all know the rule of wiping. Front to back! That’s all I will say.
  7. Do not douche! The vagina is built to clean itself, even after your period. As long as you take the necessary precautions with your lady parts, she will be OK.
  8. Every lady parts have/has a discharge. Wear a panty shield to help with keeping your lady parts dry throughout the day. Now, if the discharge have an odor and a color, make an appointment to see your gyno.
  9. Wear clean underwear daily. Something that will not suffocate your “kitty kat”, she loves to breathe. So those of us who loves to wear a “sling shot” on a daily basis, desist.

With all that was mentioned, can you now answer the question; How edible are your “cookies”?

Can you look at a someone and say to yourself, that person seems clean and seems to keep their “cookies” clean?

Do you spend time with your lady parts in keeping it clean?

Bottom line, we ladies especially (men too), need to keep our “cookies ” clean at all times, not just for a date. We enjoy having it eaten, and no one likes to or should fail the “smell test” when its time to serve dinner. Always try to have a clean edible arrangement at all times.

Which would you choose; lesbian or straight loving?

As human beings our minds, body and soul wonders, longs for and always wants new and exciting
experiences. These experiences vary from minor to major, especially sexual experiences. We think that
us as humans should always fulfil our sexual desires in life. We may be willing to try anything to add to
our sexual pleasures. It’s not just for each person to just climax (‘cum’), but to enjoy sexual pleasure
from the beginning to the end, whether it’s a quick five minutes or a marathon.

At times props are added to a sexual session to make it more memorable but most of all to ‘add spice’
and more ecstasy to the relationship. In a heterosexual relationship a man may make it his main duty
to please his woman; therefore he may not be so susceptible to any introduction of props in a sexual
relationship. Some men think women are literally an energizer bunny that goes on and on and on, not
taking the time out to explore the contours of their women’s body, just jump on, ride and go. This can
be a major turn off for women. There are times when women may desire a ‘quickie’ but even that in
itself should be done with care.

Women respond extremely well to a man who takes the time out to care for their bodies, to show that
they are not just seen as a sex machine or a reproductive tool. Oral sex was considered taboo, and even
in this day and age some men still ‘bun it out’. But with this comes cheating, because some women do
not climax without having their clit licked and sucked, for the most part the G-spot is not enough for
climaxing, stimulation of the clitoris is needed, from a warm, wet tongue. On the other hand some men
would literally pay to ‘eat’ a woman out, and with this is, women nowadays literally go for. ‘If you are
not going to be eating then you will not be wining’. Women expect that men should be ready and be up
for anything in the bedroom, no boundaries, and in return pleasure beyond pleasures.

Visualizing intimacy between two women is very hot and steamy. The sexual experience between
them is very passionate and detailed, because a woman knows what she wants sexually and how to
gain that pleasure. She will take the time out to please her partner, and is always up for new sexual
experiences. Lesbians are very passionate people, they are very sensitive and this relationship is much
more tolerated. Two women are sexy, four perky tits sucked and caressed gently into hardness, two
succulent lips pressed against each other, while the tongues explore the interiors of each other’s mouth,
and of course two wet vaginas, with pulsating clits, waiting to be pleased. The sexual encounter is very
intriguing and exciting. So a woman will respond significantly to another woman pleasing her.

The reality of the matter is that, a lesbian relationship is sexually exciting and more adventurous and
pleasing. At the end of the day some or most women prefer a stiff, hot tongue versus a hard penis,
poking in and around their promise land.