Forgiveness, what is it really?
Forgiveness is immense!
Throughout time and through the journey of our distinct lives, forgiveness can be seen or referred to as a gift, a gift that some of us hate giving. It can be a choice or an emotion that is a replica of our inner selves, however, trying to forget something a person has done is not an easy and simple thing to ‘put six feet under’. For some, it may take hours, days or even years to let go of grievances and bitterness and for others, well… they simply cannot wipe out the situation, especially serious incidents or regular occurrences.
Forgiveness is a virtue but the way people perceive it is quite relative. Some people think that certain actions are explicable, hence forgiveness is warranted; ‘I didn’t mean to do it or say it, so forgive me’. While in some cases it can be so, others….. not so much.
Forgiveness is a commitment to an individual that he or she has been pardoned, where a process of change and a new start is ensued. Is it significant to give a soul another chance, since everyone make mistakes?
Nobody is perfect!
But what if their actions were intentional, where the main focus was to inflict pain and hurt, just to soothe their bruised ego, do we forgive them then?
Do we say, ‘They didn’t mean it’ when we are left with our tails tucked between our legs?
Forgiveness is personal and the act can and may have various meanings. Acceptance of apology may be forgiveness for some, while helping the other who hurt us to get out of the habit of ill-treatment may be a way for others.
Re-iterating, everyone makes mistakes, there is no perfect person. Therefore, forgiving others allows us to forgive ourselves when we commit our own follies and the act also grants us a sense of peace within ourselves.
We tend to lean on people who are close to us, people that we have opened our heart’s gates to; but what if those said people who are close to us betray or hurt us?
What do we do then?
Do we find it most difficult to forgive them?
The extent to which our trust is breached determines the ease or difficulty in forgiving. It is however; true that the more easily we forgive the other person, the less likely we shall smother ourselves by keeping bad intentions for the offender. We need to feed it into our system to let go, so that we do not stay annoyed and hurt for long (refers to self).
So all this talk about forgiveness, what do we actually do after we have made up our minds and hearts to forgive the offender?
Do we forgive and forget?
Do we forgive and carry-on as if nothing happened?
Or do we entertain and occupy the same space as such person/s? (A major struggle)
Learning to accept other’s flaws can/may create healthy relationships. Forgiving someone takes a vast ability and willingness before we can totally say that we have forgiven a person. It sometimes is a conflicting process between the soul and mind, because at the end of the day, while some people may think water runs through other’s veins and not blood, we all ‘FEEL’ and that ‘FEEL’ can manifest itself in so many ways, both positive and negative and let’s be real; when we hurt, the human side kicks in instantly and we may/will retaliate. This at times will do more bad than good, as we trying to make ourselves feel better about the hurt that we are experiencing. We don’t necessarily think, ‘Oh golly! I am going to forgive the culprit right away!’
While forgiving someone for the bad things that they have done to us may take years (is there a limit or time frame to forgive?), it is a progression that will, over time help our soul heal from all the hatred that we have developed towards the person (Or towards ourselves).
Forgiveness is a divine act and should be granted (Within means?). Within our souls and minds, there will always be a space for people’s mistakes or wrong doings; therefore, there will always be a chance to forgive them.
At the end of it all, having compassion and tolerance, helps us feel light and aids us in getting rid of hard feelings that occupy our mind and heart and infect our peace of mind. Forgiveness is a way to self-fulfillment. People who can readily forgive others are much more responsible and satisfied inside than those who hold on to grudges against others and develop feelings of animosity. But while forgiveness is granted, it doesn’t give you instant backstage access to being apart the person’s life. There is no obligation present there. And while we sit and eat away at ourselves (While the offender/s are going about their lives quite happily), the feeling of anguish will only result in arguments, fights, mistreatment and sometimes a horrible outcome, war. Those who forgive help create positive energy which in turn leads to a better world.
Forgive not for the offender, but for yourself!