Living in Jamaica and being gay

Jamaica is known for many reasons; one of which is the country that is extremely homophobic and their intolerance level for gay people is at its highest. It is always “bun a batty boy or bun a sadamite.” I personally find it awfully offensive and hurtful when I hear those words from another individual and I am not being bias. I believe that I was born gay— to some extent. From a tender age I was always attracted to the same sex. I use to go over to my pastor’s granddaughter house to ‘play’ and she would always be coming on to me and even though I was young (eight years old) I found it very comforting and I reciprocated the gestures that I was receiving, mind you I had no clue as to what it is that I was doing and it felt awesome. I wasn’t even question about being there so often, because it was me being at play.

I grew up in church (Pentecostal) and I was always taught that being gay is wrong and is an abomination to God, therefore I have always pushed the feeling of being attracted to the same sex away, besides I didn’t understand what those feelings meant. Liking boys was the norm and I delve into that norm, hoping to feel normal. But even though I was trying to feel ‘normal’ by talking to boys, I felt no form of attraction towards boys, there was simply no chemistry. Also I was more confused than anything because my parents would say “not until you are forty (40)” when a boy would come to the gate, trying to talk to me. Therefore I was scared to even talk to boys. Girls could come over and it would be OK, because it’s considered ‘OK’.

I started dating my first girlfriend at eighteen (18) and it felt like the real me and to me it felt like the norm. Of course I couldn’t tell my parents about it; hence I hid it or was in the closet as what some people call it. My step dad found a letter that I hid and immediately told my mother about it and lets just say it didn’t go down well. I was told that God did not make Adam and Steve and its wrong. It didn’t change my feelings and I didn’t stop seeing her, however it was done in the closet and I would deny it to my parents as well. She couldn’t drop me off at the gate and she was no longer allowed to come to the house.

It was quite easy for me to be out in public with another female, because it was more tolerable. I however did not do anything to offend anyone and I lived by “It’s my life and I live how I want to, however I won’t push it in anyone’s face.”

For the most part being in Jamaica and being gay is rough because persons will get mobbed and to some extent I was scared. I hated walking on the road with my partner especially when she dresses a little less feminine. It was evident that we were together and men would make sly remarks about us wanting a ‘cocky’ instead of tongue in our ‘pussies’. There was no major harassment, however I could not be the real me because it was looked down upon and I was scared of being mobbed. When my partner and I go out, whether to the supermarket or just to have a meal all eyes are on us and you can just see person’s minds turning. We have never really encountered any major issues and that is solely based on us being in the closet. That ‘code of living’ seems to work while living in Jamaica and it makes it easier for us to get around.

Being in another country other than Jamaica has granted me the privilege of being me, it is much easier for me to go about my business and not be judged or looked down upon. It felt so good to be able to walk out in public and hold my partner’s hands and even sneak a kiss or two. No one cares. I still don’t push anything in anyone’s face.

I believe it’s our life and we live it how we deemed it fit. Jamaica, I believe will never accept homosexuality and that in itself is OK; because its just our culture and religion.

Anyone should be able to live their life how they want to and be who they want to without being scared of society. Bottom line, if you are gay and living in Jamaica, you have to live in a closet.

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Which would you choose; lesbian or straight loving?

As human beings our minds, body and soul wonders, longs for and always wants new and exciting
experiences. These experiences vary from minor to major, especially sexual experiences. We think that
us as humans should always fulfil our sexual desires in life. We may be willing to try anything to add to
our sexual pleasures. It’s not just for each person to just climax (‘cum’), but to enjoy sexual pleasure
from the beginning to the end, whether it’s a quick five minutes or a marathon.

At times props are added to a sexual session to make it more memorable but most of all to ‘add spice’
and more ecstasy to the relationship. In a heterosexual relationship a man may make it his main duty
to please his woman; therefore he may not be so susceptible to any introduction of props in a sexual
relationship. Some men think women are literally an energizer bunny that goes on and on and on, not
taking the time out to explore the contours of their women’s body, just jump on, ride and go. This can
be a major turn off for women. There are times when women may desire a ‘quickie’ but even that in
itself should be done with care.

Women respond extremely well to a man who takes the time out to care for their bodies, to show that
they are not just seen as a sex machine or a reproductive tool. Oral sex was considered taboo, and even
in this day and age some men still ‘bun it out’. But with this comes cheating, because some women do
not climax without having their clit licked and sucked, for the most part the G-spot is not enough for
climaxing, stimulation of the clitoris is needed, from a warm, wet tongue. On the other hand some men
would literally pay to ‘eat’ a woman out, and with this is, women nowadays literally go for. ‘If you are
not going to be eating then you will not be wining’. Women expect that men should be ready and be up
for anything in the bedroom, no boundaries, and in return pleasure beyond pleasures.

Visualizing intimacy between two women is very hot and steamy. The sexual experience between
them is very passionate and detailed, because a woman knows what she wants sexually and how to
gain that pleasure. She will take the time out to please her partner, and is always up for new sexual
experiences. Lesbians are very passionate people, they are very sensitive and this relationship is much
more tolerated. Two women are sexy, four perky tits sucked and caressed gently into hardness, two
succulent lips pressed against each other, while the tongues explore the interiors of each other’s mouth,
and of course two wet vaginas, with pulsating clits, waiting to be pleased. The sexual encounter is very
intriguing and exciting. So a woman will respond significantly to another woman pleasing her.

The reality of the matter is that, a lesbian relationship is sexually exciting and more adventurous and
pleasing. At the end of the day some or most women prefer a stiff, hot tongue versus a hard penis,
poking in and around their promise land.