Family is very important to me. I would think it is the same for all or a lot of people. Your family defines your identity and instills certain values in you. They say that your siblings and cousins are your first best friends and they are always there for you no matter what! Its an automatic given.
Family for some people is as the word means, just merely co-existing within a household and sharing financial responsibilities. However, on the other hand, it has many significant meanings to it. But are our expectations of our various family members too high? Are we being dragged down by the ones who we expect to always be there for us?
Every member of a family lives their own lives how they deem it fit, however, some family expectations are way too high and can become strenuous on individuals who are trying to please a particular family member/s. In some cultures, the eldest sibling is suppose be the one that goes out and set an example for the younger sibling/s and pave the way for them to follow suit. Modern society has gone against that and from it, stems a problem/s.
As soon as a particular family member starts to make some form of progress in their lives, its of the expectation that that particular family member should not be excelling so well. It is understandable to ‘feel a way’ about your younger sibling or cousin or whomever excelling and you feeling like you are not going anywhere; BUT that is not an excuse to ‘bad mind’ the individual.
Family members can become major leeches. You will always be there for your them every single time they are in need, but if you happen to say no one time, then its as if you have never done anything for them.
They just take and take and take some more and then says and wishes the worst for you, because you can not fill the need for them to maintain their nail appointment or buy their Peruvian virgin hair.
Yes, families have their ups and downs and that’s how it is suppose to be as there is no perfect family. Is your family perfect? If so, something is wrong with you! (I am just saying); however, having ups and downs, doesn’t mean that you can’t congratulate me on an accomplishment, a milestone in my life or something that is important to me. Whats even worst is you pretending to be happy for me and then talk smack behind my back! Hypocrite does not look good on a lot of people. If so be the case, just don’t be happy for me… period.
As soon as you make an attempt to make some sort of progress in your life, you are deemed not family oriented and you do not care about your family. Buy a new car or better yet, buy a house and then you will see their true colors, for most it would be green. Funny thing is when you do make something of your life, they are the same ones stretching out a hand or two with high expectations from your success and then sits down expecting hand me outs. How does one’s brain function as such? I just cant figure it out. The pie is big enough for everyone who wants a bite.
I am not saying to turn your back on your family, hell no! but gauge the high expectations and watch out for the snakes in your grass. You know cut your lawn regularly, because you may just get bitten.
So yes family is super important to everyone, but it begs the question, are they dragging you down or are they genuinely wishing you the best and wanting what’s good for you? Shouldn’t they be uplifting you and cheering you along? Isnt that an automatic given? It doesn’t take rocket science to comprehend that.
The ‘crab in a barrel’ mentality within a family has got to stop. Can it be stopped? Is it so etched in our DNA that its the norm?
Many people would argue that it is just the way of life, just deal with it and live a life that is pleasing to yourself. Truth is we all need our family around and without family, we tend to loose our identity, but is it worth the burden of the non well wishers?